Sure thing, let’s see where this ride takes us:
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Okay, so there’s this game called “Cat From Hell – Cat Simulator” by Upscale Studios. It’s got all the holiday vibes you’d expect — cats doing naughty things with a Christmas remix jingle going on in the background. Sounds fun, right? Well, brace yourself, because it kinda misses the mark. I’ll explain why in this mess of a review. Should be entertaining at least!
So imagine you’re this cat, right? And you’re just chilling, causing chaos in grandma’s house — knocking over vases, shredding the curtains (What’s more satisfying than that?), and just flinging stuff around like it’s a regular Tuesday. Basically, this simulator lets you live your best destructive kitty life.
The game kicks off on Christmas night. Santa, being the klutz he sometimes is, drops off a mischievous cat in a home where another cat (that’d be you) already lives. This new furball breaks a flower pot and frames you for it. Not cool, Santa. Your mission? Frame the pesky new kitty and get ‘em booted out of the house. But watch it! Grandma’s pretty much always lurking. If she catches you in action? Game over, buddy.
And what’s up with the gameplay? You sneak around, breaking things and hiding before Grandma shows up, like a holiday-themed spy thriller but with more fur. The Christmas bells chime whenever you break something, and if she reacts like my grandma used to, you’ll be in hot water. It’s supposed to be fun, but honestly? It’s kinda meh.
Let’s talk about design—actually, let’s not, because it’s just glitchy chaos. Grandma and the other cat keep getting stuck. Picture this: she tries walking through a chair… and you’re just left watching her struggle until she calms down. Extremely annoying if you ask me.
Want to get strategic, setting up blame scenarios? Good luck with that. Half the time, the game decides to blame the wrong cat anyway or doesn’t even assign blame, which is just, oh, I dunno, frustrating. Like, I “won” once because the other cat got stuck in a couch forever. That’s one way to win, I guess.
And the view? Man, it’s like peering through a fisheye lens while your cat leaps! Also, the graphics scream early 2000s, like they raided a PlayStation 2 bargain bin. Oh, and Grandma’s voice… it sounds like someone recorded it underwater, but not in an artsy way.
Oh yeah, trophies! So, there’s no Platinum trophy, which is odd for a budget title. You can break stuff and accuse the rival cat to get other trophies, though. There’s also this Sandbox Mode where you can roam freely — minus the other cat getting in your way. If you’re stuck trophy hunting, there’s probably a guide somewhere.
I went into this expecting a silly, chaotic diversion — maybe something to laugh at — but nah, it’s held together with spit and duct tape. The AI’s a mess, the mechanics are wonky, and on my PS5? It barely works. That thing where you’re supposed to trick the other cat — the whole main idea, y’know? — barely functions. And at $4.99? You might need a strong reason like, REALLY strong — to click buy.
And there’s a disclaimer or something about a free copy, but, eh, whatever.
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Whew, that was a trip!
