Oh wow, so let me tell you about this game that just popped out of the Xbox Games Showcase—it’s called There Are No Ghosts at the Grand. Honestly, the title alone had me both intrigued and slightly confused. It’s like, are there really no ghosts? Or is it one of those wink-wink nudge-nudge kind of deals? Anyway, let’s dive into this gloriously chaotic spectacle.
So, picture this—you’re an American named Chris David. Just a regular dude who somehow inherits The Grand, a rundown hotel clinging to the edge of the English coast, like it’s too stubborn to let go. I can’t even inherit a decent coffee maker, and here Chris gets a whole hotel. Some guys have all the luck, right?
Now, here’s the kicker—by day, you’re renovating this place with tools that talk. Yes, talking tools. Like a whimsical fever dream meets a DIY nightmare. I mean, who thought a daisy chain gun could be a thing? But okay, you gotta get this hotel back to its former glory, or maybe just something presentable because you’ve only got 30 days and nights. Don’t even ask what happens if you slack off… something comes for you. Yeah, sounds vague and ominous, but isn’t that how the spookiest legends start?
Enter your quirky sidekick, Robert C MacBrushy. Imagine a mix of Scotty from Star Trek and that annoying yet endearing paperclip, Clippy. He’ll guide you through bashing windows, blasting furniture, and—who knows—maybe pondering the mysteries of life. Or maybe he just helps you with puzzles. It gets blurry.
Things get a bit dicey once the sun sets. Chris isn’t just about fixing things up. Nope, he’s also ghost-hunting. Surprise! The hotel’s got this darker side, full of creepy crawly secrets crawling behind the freshly painted walls. At this point, I’d probably just nope out of there, but in the game, you dig deeper, searching out those supernatural pain-in-the-necks.
Talking about quirky—the standout? Mr Bones, the cat. Most mysterious resident of the hotel, I swear. This cat flips from being your friendly feline pal during the day to some sarcastic sage with an Aussie accent at night. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. Is he helping you, or just trolling you? Who knows.
Oh and did I mention it’s a musical? Yeah, like you start singing your heart out with various characters. Each has their unique jam, from ska to jazz. You get to, uh, verbally spar in song? And maybe furniture flies while you’re at it. Sort of like karaoke, but with more unpredictable consequences.
Leaving the hotel isn’t the end of adventure. There’s Kingswood-on-Sea, a charming wreck of a town, waiting for a visit. You can do stuff like restore a mini-golf course. Swing by some curiously empty shops, or just coast around town on a scooter. But trust me, you’d better be indoors before nightfall.
Ultimately, There Are No Ghosts at the Grand is more than ghost-busting and spiffing up hotels. It’s about folks and the stories they drag along, willingly or not. It’s supposed to hit Xbox Series X|S and Game Pass in 2026. So, whether you’re in it for a laugh, a scare, or just some musical misadventure, seems like it’ll have something for everyone. Just remember—as they ominously note—don’t put your trust in the upholstery.
